Baby-Stroller Bumper Car [Hey, You!]

Illustration by Bob Aul

You were the mother pushing her stroller through the mouse-loving multitudes at Disneyland. When the crowd bottlenecked around New Orleans Square, your stroller wheels revved up my ankles on more than one occasion, each time burning my skin more than the last. “Do it again, and I’ll kick your baby!” I warned.

“Maybe you should move out of the way,” you sneered back.

Ah, the Happiest Place On Earth indeed. Luckily for you, we parted ways soon after. I went toward the Haunted Mansion, you carried on to Critter Country. The next time you want to play bumper cars, may I suggest going to Bug’s Land at California Adventure? There aren’t enough people there for you to wield your toddler carriage of carnage like the weapon it is anyway.

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