Repo Man [Hey, You!]

Illustration by Bob Aul

Hey, repo guy: Learn to do your job! I watched you the other day slide your tow hitch under a car in the parking lot across the street and attempt to drive off, its alarm blaring, which let everyone in the neighborhood know what you were doing. But you were sloppy hooking up the car. I know this because it broke free about two seconds after you pulled out of the lot. The hitch must have sliced something important (I’m guessing the brake line) because fluid immediately started gushing out of the car’s front end. But instead of getting out to make sure everything was okay, you merely backed up, slid the tow hitch under the car’s front end again, then drove off, a nice trickle of dark liquid following you down the street. If I ever get in trouble with my bank, I sure hope you’re not the guy who gets the call to take my car.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to

4 Replies to “Repo Man [Hey, You!]”

  1. Repo guys get paid the same whether they retrieve a pile of shit or get the car back in one piece. That’s why he didn’t care about under carriage damage.

    1. I’ve been a repossessor 20 years. That’s careless rookie stuff. We do have to pay for damages we cause to vehicles unless he works for a shady company who doesn’t care. Either way the debtor has a nice case for damages especially with a trail of proof.

  2. Most likely the driver didn’t see the fluid draining. He can’t see underneath a vehicle when he is inside the cab of the wrecker.
    This is a ridiculous fluff piece. If you’re going to write about repossessors, you should be writing about all the agents who have been murdered by people whose cars are being repossessed. It’s an epidemic of horror set in motion by the scripted reality shows.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *