Tinkle Patrol [Hey, You!]

Illustration by Bob Aul

You are the Orange County sheriff’s deputy standing outside your patrol SUV as your partner entered a home on what appeared to be official business. You stood there, ever vigilant, professional and thirsty! Man, you were just tearing up that Big Gulp. A minute or two passed, and then you had to pee. You looked around, and though you didn’t seem to see anyone, you must have realized you were too exposed. So you ducked behind the car door and peed into the cup you had just emptied. You then emptied the cup into my neighbor’s planter. I never told my neighbor what you did, even after his plant died.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to letters@ocweekly.com.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *